PS: I Lost Myself...
Before we go into this first journal entry, I want to start by saying that all of my journal entries are deeply personal and born during some of the most difficult and also most beautiful times in my life. I hope that through sharing my life, others feel seen–like they are not alone in this world. So if only one person resonates with a journal entry, that is enough for me. Thank you so much for being part of this journey with me and sharing your time and energy.
I wanted to start with this particular journal simply because It was the start of my self healing journey. It was when I realized that I needed to take more responsibility for my emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health. At some point I will likely go into greater detail about what triggered this, but just know it came from one of the lowest emotional/spiritual times in my life–2018. I found this entry just days before launching this website and cried because I genuinely do not know this woman. I have chosen to share journal entries because I realized back in ‘18, that as I was using my journal entries as a form of self healing (and I began sharing them on my social media) that people resonated with my words.
I hope this reaches someone and in this moment of reading it, they begin to become aware of their own needs.This is a letter to my younger self–showing that your lowest moment does not define you, that YOU are loved and far more powerful than you realized in that moment young Kay. And life can get better. This is a letter to other women on their own journeys who need to know that they are not alone. This is a letter to those who suddenly wake up one day and do not recognize the person staring back at them in the mirror. This is a letter to those who finally realize, they need to pour more into themselves. I pray this message finds you….
Circa 2018
“I lost myself this year. I don’t mean in the ‘what do I like to do/what are my hobbies sense. I mean I honestly had no idea who I was at my core! I did not know where I belonged, what made me happy, who I wanted to be or even what I wanted to achieve in this lifetime. I thought it was a diminished relationship/friendship that triggered this loss of self but the truth is–I had lost myself in this world way before that. It was slow and hardly noticeable until one day, there were too many pieces of myself that I didn’t recognize. I looked for validation and understanding of who I was through people and their opinions of my life. I was everything that everyone else needed me to be for them without knowing what it meant to show up for myself”.